So finally I am able to calm down enough to write this fan account of running to JYJ (and staff) at a restaurant yesterday (July 7th, around 3pm in the afternoon) in Korea Town here in Los Angeles. I don’t know about all of you, but prior to running into them I’ve had this nagging worry in the back of my head ever since the news of Park Yong-ha’s suicide and Junsu’s visit to the ER, and seeing them with my own eyes brought such tremendous relief, even though I still feel both the grief and joy watching them grow and mature in the past year, but I digress: I am going to keep this fan account strictly to what I observed yesterday and I am going to post another article that’s specifically for detailing the emotional journey inspired by witnessing the amazing talents of these five, especially with the turmoils since last year. If you are interested to view this article named “Even Cassies Have Had to Grow Up, Too”, I will include a link to a page at the end of this fan account (It is not going to be a blog by itself. it’s just something that I will set up to post this one article only. It’s kind of long so I am not sure if it’s going to be shared here at DBSKnights......love this site, by the way. Thanks for all the hard work for keeping us in touch! Please feel free to let me know if you want to post both or just this fan account. It’s cool either way.)
Anyhow, lets get down to business. So yesterday afternoon around 2:30pm I was close to K-town and wanted to grab a quick bite from a trip to the supermarket deli, yet as I drove there (I was already in the parking lot), I all of sudden changed my mind and decided to go to another restaurant down the street. Instead of picking up food, I thought I deserved an actual sit-down meal, even if just a short one, to cheer myself up since I woke up feeling really sad. Due to this sad mood, when I walked into the restaurant, I was rather absent-minded. I did notice, however, that the waitress that usually was very friendly and quick to point me to a seat seemed rather distracted, and kept speaking to me in Korean without letting me know where to sit. I was slightly confused since I didn’t speak Korean. As she was speaking to me from behind the counter, out of my peripheral vision, I knew right next to me near the entrance was this big group of patrons who occupied two tables, but I didn’t pay any attention to them. I just wanted to find a seat that was on the corner of the restaurant so that I could sit down with my book to hide and console myself with a good meal. I stood pretty close to that big group of patrons, and as I was trying to get a hint from the older Korean waitress a sense of where to go (very nice ajumma by the way: I’ve always liked her) I moved several times, each time just a couple of steps since I was unsure of where to go, around that big group of people (I think around 8-10), trying to gauge where I wanted to sit. That took a couple of minutes. In hindsight, I realized that I was probably less than one feet away from all three of them at one point, but I didn’t realize that at the time, and again I am jumping ahead of myself. (BUT HOW CAN YOU NOT BE EXCITED, HUH? I AM STILL IN SHOCK!)
Anyhow, I quickly spotted this table at the corner of the restaurant. The restaurant wasn’t very big, and all the tables were aligned in one direction, except for the one that I picked for myself. I hadn’t even noticed that table before from my previous trips to the restaurant: it was strangely positioned in a way that it had the whole view of the place (meaning that instead of being part of the rows of tables, it was not included in those rows and stood separately on its own at the corner, hence offering a great view of the entire place without me having to turn my head if I sat with my back to the wall.) I picked that table because, ironically enough, I wanted some space from everyone and I did choose to sit with my back against the wall since I didn’t want anyone behind me. I sat down, let out a breath, and thought to myself “oh thank God” since I was feeling so very antisocial and tired from my day already, and that was when I heard a voice that I thought really familiar to me so I looked up: when I looked up, I thought I saw the profile of someone who looked incredibly like Yoochun. At that instant, all the blood must have gone to my face as I felt this tremendous heat rush EXPLODED in my body and I almost fell of the chair. I quickly looked down because I didn’t want to look like I was crazy and I wanted to take a deep breath to compose myself (HOLY SHIT, AM I HALLUCINATING?) but I quickly looked up again (HOW CAN YOU NOT?) and did a double take: WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH IT WAS YOOCHUN BECAUSE, BECAUSE RIGHT NEXT TO HIM WAS SOMEONE WHO LOOKED LIKE JUNSU! HOLY JESUS SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!! THERE CAN’T POSSIBLY TWO LOOK ALIKES ALL AT THE SAME TIME?! RIGHT?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I still want to scream!!! IT’S JYJ RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES!!!)
But at the same, I took another deep breath as I realized that these are some super sharp sensitive people because it was like they had eyes on the back of their heads: I mean Junsu and Yoochun. As shocked/excited as I was, I am pretty positive that all that I let out was a sharp intake of breath and a few seconds of intense staring just to verify what my eyes were seeing (you know that sensation that you couldn’t believe your own eyes, like the brain was just not capable of registering what was happening....I mean, I LOVE these boys! I watch them every morning on my laptop before I go to work! I watch them when I get home after work! I know the details of all of their TV shows like the back of my hand and listen to their music in the car! But, but......what was I seeing? THEM!!!!! WAAAAAH THE WORLD HAD STOP TO MAKE SENSE IN THE MOST CRAZY AND WONDERFUL WAY.) Yet as intense as I was feeling, I am usually also pretty good at keeping things internal when I need to so I was surprised how quickly Yoochun and Junsu turned to survey the corner where I was sitting like they picked up something. They eyes simply surveyed the corner and didn’t linger more than a second which didn’t surprise me: of course I feel like I’ve known them forever and to them I am just a complete stranger, and in a way I was glad to see how alert they were. It was less than a second that they glanced towards my direction before they focused back on their meal (yet enough to scare the crap out of me because I didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. I mean, I can completely understand why fangirls chase them down and want a piece of them, and at the same time my heart aches a little for the lack of privacy they suffer and it pleases me so to know that they could enough a meal without people gawking at them, so I really tried to refrain myself.)
At that point, it was obvious that Yoochun was really comfortable with the waitress apparently, since he tilted his head to ask for the waitress to bring him something in Korean. (The waitress at this point had completely forgotten my existence. I had to wait for a long time and finally rang the bell before she came to get my order, but really, I seriously don’t have any complaints.) The way he asked for her attention was very young-ish, like an adorable child (but of course he’s a young man now) and at that instant I could really FEEL how and why he was so popular and captured the hearts of so many, despite how casually dressed he was at that moment (Here’s another funny thing. Just yesterday morning before I left for work I was watching this video clip of the boys being interviewed by Mnet, and they were being asked who was the most poorly dressed offscreen and the boys said: “Yoochun” and proceeded to describe how, when offscreen, Yoochun usually dressed in sweats and Yoochun, in his defense, replied that was because he wanted to be able to practice anywhere when he wanted to. And lord and behold: what did I see him wear when I ran into them? A simply gray T-shirt and black sports shorts/knee length and, ding ding ding, SANDALS! LOL! Those you hardcore fans know what I am talking about: true to his word, this was the guy who tried and pushed the limit and wore his sandals into the winter season in Japan. Guess it worked out well for him that it was warm in LA right now. :) Of the three, he definitely was the most casually dressed, with his hair pulled back into a very cute teeny tiny short ponytail (lots of bobby pins involved) and no makeup, but to those of you who are Yoochun biased: no, that doesn’t take away his star quality WHATSOEVER. It seemed to me that Yoochun, out of the three, perhaps felt the need to withdraw the most when faced with the things or people that he didn’t know or feel comfortable with. His facial expressions changed subtly yet informed varying degrees of pulling back quite well: I felt like I could sense the so very sensitive soul that really needed a sense of needed protection underneath this occasional aloofness. Since they were constantly in the public eye, and for any sensitive person that meant a tremendous amount of incoming energy on a daily basis, I can only imagine his need for some space. I don’t want to digress too much but allow me to say that I felt like I observed this tendency in all three of them: this brilliant and shining opening of their being when faced towards one another (you could really feel the love oh it’s SO REAL) that just takes your breath away (some serious charm), and the need to distance and protect oneself from the endless spotlight that did not turn off even as they stopped performing on stage, so of course they needed to shield themselves somewhat. From that perspective, I could really appreciate every part of Yoochun even as he appeared a little more aloof than the rest (in my opinion) and put his back up a bit more than the other two. (I would never forget how he cried for his brother and himself on YSMM. Beautiful. Certainly showed a very sensitive and caring soul that needs privacy and space in order to feel safe and blossom, and boy did he show us his talents during these years.)
But Junsu, ah Junsu was entirely another story (but as I said, I observed that tendency in all three of them: just perhaps least in Junsu, and as a matter of fact I think it’s something all celebrities must learn in order to cope with their fame, but let me shut up about this already, sorry ladies. I know you are dying to hear more about the actual details so here it comes.) Since I felt self-conscious to keep staring, I did look down at my book and I tried to act normal so that they could continue to enjoy their meal without interruption. There were very few patrons in the restaurant as it was already 3pm in the afternoon, and the few tables that knew who they were kept their distance as well, but friendly. I did, however, OPENED UP MY EARS SO BIG so I could feel into what was going on at the other table. And truth be told, there was no way to miss Junsu’s raspy voice anywhere you went. Kya kya kya kya kya it brought me up joy to hear his exuberant voice and occasional laughter. (OH THANK GOD HE SEEMS RECOVERED). Even though I didn’t know what they were saying exactly, but the intonation felt very cheerful, with some fatigue mixed in perhaps, but overall it really felt so very sweet. They were relatively quiet, but I recognized all of their voices (I was the one who had trouble breathing) and it was SO NICE to feel their energy: peaceful, familiar, with a true feeling of family thrown in there because of the natural intimacy that you could pick up from being around them. It was really amazing. I was SO HAPPY to see Junsu looking so well (the boy was well dressed! He had on some kind of informal gray suit jacket and I don’t remember what else he was wearing....sorry ladies....his face was so adorable that I couldn’t focus on anything else. I think he had some makeup on and his hair was styled....ah Charisma Junsu-san. Yep, you sure can intoxicate as many as you want now......)
BUT! BUT! YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND! I AM COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, 100% JAEJOONG BIASED! (Although I really, truly, sincerely love ALL FIVE and I pay great attention to them all. NOTHING is going to stop me from going to SM TOWN Live this Sep, not even my hatred for SM: I LOVE HOMIN and that’s what counts. I will support them any way I can.) So, I was anxious to find Jaejoong (Yoochun and Junsu sat with their profile towards my direction so I could see them VERY WELL and CLEAR every time I looked up, but I didn’t see Jaejoong right away.) Turned out that he was sitting across from from Junsu at the opposite end of the table and the person sitting next to Yoochun was blocking my view and I had to maneuver a bit to get a glimpse of Jaejoong and MY GOD HE WAS BEAUTIFUL. He is truly blessed with exceptional beauty. From the distance you see great his skin was and how delicate his facial features were.....aaaah I could faint. I didn’t want to look too intently so I tried to find him without being too obvious, yet just like the other two, he was really, really, very sensitive and knew what was going on around him quite well, although you could tell that he was probably used to people gawking at him (which, again, hurts my heart a little although I am really happy that he finally got what he wanted when he was younger: I’d never forget his honest admission of wanting popularity on X-man during “Of Course” with Changmin.....Ah I miss my soul fighters....T_T). So, I tried to look away quickly whenever I looked up for a glance of him (I think at one point he looked at my direction again like he sensed something and we had one second of eye contact like I did with the other two, although they certainly weren’t looking at me but merely surveying the environment......BUT SURE YOU KNOW HOW SHOCKING THAT WAS TO MY SYSTEM.....oh bless my heart it’s still beating so fast.) However, at another point, (WAHWAHWAH I FEEL SO LUCKY) the staff people sat next to Yoochun got up and went to the bathroom so it was WIDE OPEN between Jaejoong and I, meaning that it was a CLEAR VIEW (since he was sitting at the opposite end of the table, that meant I wasn’t seeing his profile. I was looking at him DIRECTLY.) Jaejoong looked sad, I won’t lie, but occasionally he would smile this most tender, genuine smile that just melted your heart when the two or staff spoke to him. I swear, I would never forget that moment when his face went from this somewhat forlorn expression to this beautiful blossoming of a smile. It was one of the most beautiful sights I’ve seen, (and yes, I know, he’s just a human being as well but so am I, so projection really is inevitable here, hee hee.) This continued for a while, my looking down and looking back up and looking down and looking back up and keeping my ears wide open to capture everything (meanwhile my food was served yet I kid you not, my hand was shaking a little and I felt so stupid and tried to hold it steady.) Eventually, they got up to leave. I had told myself that I would look up fast enough when Jaejoong stood up to see his whole person, yet I tell you! That boy FLEW OR SOMETHING!!! As I heard the chairs rustling I looked up and Jaejoong was already out of the door (WHAT? WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOO!), while Junsu and Yoochun lingered at the table for a long time. I was sad, but, guess what? The restaurant had glass walls so, YEP LADIES, I could still see Jaejoong through the glass wall......and, if you don’t think this is the longest, most boringest fanaccount in the world so far......I do have more to tell you. Ah God have mercy, they stood outside the restaurant for a while to chat before they got in their vans, and you know what it also meant?
It meant that I WAS FREE TO GAWK NOW THAT THEY WERE OUTSIDE!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Lord have mercy indeed!!!
So, I will be back, with Part 2 tomorrow, and as promised, the link to the article, “Even Cassies Have Had to Grow Up, Too, “ and I hope you like it. Bless our boys. They seemed well, at least for the moment, and I know that soothed my heart, as I continue to appreciate all the joy that they’ve brought into my life. Who knew such inspiration could come from following a boy band? I wouldn’t have believed you if not for DBSK!!! So, ATKF, ladies....see you tomorrow!
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